I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
