I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
