Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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