so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
