I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
