I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am spending my child support on dildos
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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