Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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