its not stalking. its research.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
