His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That accounts for only three of the penises
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
