HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
