making cat noises will not fix the situation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
