I'm really into asian looking animals
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
