You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
