South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
