we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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