doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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