Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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