Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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