Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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