is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize