I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
