I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
