The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She bit a glass in half.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize