Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
