Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
