he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
