we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
