This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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