Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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