there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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