Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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