Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
