She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
