So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
