you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
