4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
