I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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