My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Every concussion has its silver lining
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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