Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize