i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
