'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
