Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
