No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
