I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
