i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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