Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
