I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
