He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
