operation harelip BJ is a go
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize