he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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