I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
