I will die if light touches me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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