he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
