handjob tips. give me some.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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