I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
