it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
