i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
