They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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