Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
