I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
