So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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